Double Fault Page 5
She stood beside Mel’s old double bed and watched them, seeing Pierce in the curving sweep of their eyelashes, their dark eyebrows, and the exuberant crest of their curls. Then her jaw tightened. They might look a lot like him but that didn’t give him any rights over them. They were hers. They’d been hers from the moment she had learned that Pierce really didn’t want children.
It had been immediately after she’d taken a third pregnancy test, hoping against hope it would show negative. Finally, reconciled to the inevitable, she had gone searching for Pierce, hoping that when he knew she was pregnant he would feel differently about the future. When she eventually found him he was leaning against a bar, beer glass in hand, laughing and joking with a group of tennis players. His doubles partner saw her first.
David Masters had known Kerry for almost as long as Pierce had, and he grinned at her as she walked towards them. “A good job you haven’t reached the broody stage yet Kerry because Pierce is on his high horse again. He thinks dragging children around the tennis circuit is akin to child abuse!”
“I did not say that,” when Pierce realized Kerry was standing behind him he turned around and dropped his arm across her shoulders. “I don’t even think that. I just said it’s not for me. I’m too selfish. If I became a father right now I would resent the baby every time it woke me up at night, every time it prevented me from doing something I wanted to do, every time I lost a match because I was tired. I don’t have any problem with players who make different choices, I just know what’s right for me.”
Then he’d pulled Kerry close and kissed the top of her head. “Fortunately Kerry feels the same way don’t you sweetheart, so for the foreseeable future we’re both going to keep enjoying ourselves without a care in the world.”
A shudder went right through Kerry as she recalled his words. How she had survived the rest of the evening she didn’t know. After three years it was a blur. She guessed she must have smiled and nodded though. She might even have agreed with him while all the time she had been making plans to leave him, making plans to keep the baby growing inside her whether he wanted it or not. It was only later she found out it wasn’t just one baby, but two, but by then her whole world had fallen apart anyway.
She leaned down and brushed some curls away from Lauren’s flushed face. Then her fingers trailed across to where Ben was lying so she could touch him too. She wasn’t going to let Pierce spoil all this, not now she had put her heart back together piece by fragile piece. Ben and Lauren were healthy, happy and well cared for. She was happy too, or she would be if she wasn’t always so tired. She was proud of herself as well. She had done all this without any help from anyone, so commitment phobic Pierce Simon could go hang and she would tell him exactly that when she next saw him.
* * *
Later, over dinner, the conversation was desultory because everyone was tired and George and Mary didn’t try to detain Kerry when she said it was time for her to leave. Mary merely kissed her and reminded her to leave some of the twin’s clothes in her front porch for George to collect the following day.
“Not much,” she called as she waved Kerry goodbye. “Just some extra sweaters and their boots. I can wash everything else through each evening.”
* * *
Kerry drove home slowly, wondering how she was going to cope with the next few days and wishing Mel had chosen any other time to be ill. Meeting Pierce so unexpectedly after years of constant tiredness had pushed her to a breaking point and although she was determined to fight him tooth and nail, she wasn’t sure how well she would be able to hold up against his angry questions. Her only hope was that a good night’s sleep would give her the chance to build up some emotional resistance but it was something she was destined never to find out because when she arrived home, he was waiting for her.
She saw his car as soon as she turned the van into her road and she pushed her foot down hard on the accelerator in panic. He didn’t give her the chance to even consider driving past, however. Instead he stepped out of his own car and stood in the middle of the otherwise deserted road, waiting for her to park. Then he walked up to the driver’s door and yanked it open.
“You said tomorrow,” she played for time, her thoughts befuddled by tiredness.
“I changed my mind,” he reached in and half lifted, half pulled her from the driving seat. “You’ve already disappeared from my life once without any warning so I decided against giving you a second opportunity, especially as it would also involve my children.”
He held her against the van with one hand and wrenched her chin up with the other, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t even think about trying to deny it. I know they are my children and I guess they are also the reason your father threw you out. I would even hazard a guess they’re the reason you disappeared from my life. What I don’t understand is why. My god Kerry! How could you do it? Didn’t you think I had any rights in the matter?”
She nodded miserably feeling hysterical sobs building up in her chest as his fingers bit into her upper arms. She would have given anything to be able to deny his claim on Ben and Lauren but to do that she would have to run faster and further. Maybe even change country. She started to tremble as reaction set in.
Pierce, however, was too furious to notice anything. His eyes glittered angrily under the streetlights and when he raised one arm she flinched because she thought he was going to hit her.
He released her instantly, the color draining from his face and leaving him white and drawn. His voice was heavy with bitterness as he stared down at her. “So that’s what you think of me! Is that what all those months together taught you…that I am a total bastard?”
She shook her head, whispering her reply from a throat tight with tears. “I just thought you were mad about Ben and Lauren. I wouldn’t…wouldn’t have b..b..blamed you.”
“Well I would,” his gaze was bleak. “I don’t hit women Kerry, so you can unlock your front door and allow us to finish this discussion in private without any fear that I’ll knock you about. But you are right about me being mad. I’m madder than I’ve ever been in my life, and that’s saying some, so if you know what’s good for you you’ll listen to what I’m going to say without interruption.”
Slowly she turned towards the house, knowing when she was beaten, but he caught at her arm and pulled her back. There was a new menace in his voice as he peered through the windows of the van. “Haven’t you forgotten something?”
For the first time she felt a faint surge of triumph, the shadowy return of some of her old spirit. “If you mean the children, then no. They’re staying with George and Mary for a few days.”
“Because you don’t want them to see me or because you’re too busy to look after them yourself?” His anger was ready to erupt again but this time she didn’t flinch.
“Both. You already know I have to cover for my partner for a couple of days until she recovers from her sickness bug. If I try to look after Ben and Lauren at the same time then they’ll suffer, so I’ve agreed they should stay with George and Mary. Also I’m not about to let my children get caught up in any arguments between us,” she challenged him with her possessiveness.
“Is that so?” The bleakness in his eyes was replaced by a cold calculation, “Well I’m not prepared to have my children farmed out to just anyone because their mother doesn’t have time to look after them.”
“It has nothing whatsoever to do with you. Besides George and Mary aren’t just anyone. They’ve known Ben and Lauren since they were babies. They’re like grandparents to them.”
“If that’s supposed to make me feel better then you need to think again, because I’m not disposed to feel kindly towards people who have spent two years enjoying what was mine by right, to say nothing of the fact that I could have supplied them with real grandparents.” He tightened his grip on her arm as he steered her down the front path to the darkened recess of the porch.
“If you cared about them at all then you’d be pleased they
’re being well looked after,” Kerry went on the defensive so she didn’t have to listen to the truth behind his accusation.
“I’ve only your word for that, and frankly I have very little faith in your word, or even in your suitability to bring up my children.” Pierce took her keys and opened the front door. He clicked the light switch in her hallway, flooding them both with the orange glow that shone through the cheap plastic shade.
* * *
Kerry stared up at him in disbelief. He couldn’t mean it. It was anger talking. How could he possibly doubt her? He’d seen the twins, seen how happy and healthy they were. Surely she was just imagining the threat behind his words.
He returned her startled gaze implacably. “You don’t have any choice Kerry. Either you marry me so they have two parents, or I’ll fight you through the courts for them.”
She felt her legs begin to give way beneath her as she stumbled through to the sitting room. His words whirled round and round in her head. Marry him! The thought was total madness. The shock of discovering he was a father must have temporarily deranged him.
She sank down onto the lumpy couch and put her head in her hands. She felt sick. Pierce sat down beside her and watched the changing expressions on her face as fear and disbelief mingled with incredulity and horror. When he was sure she was capable of listening he spoke again, but this time slowly and calmly as if he was dealing with a particularly recalcitrant child.
“I meant what I said Kerry. I won’t have my children living like this when I can offer them so much more. Nor will I expose them to the sort of media gossip that will ensue if the story of their first two years gets out. They are my children and they will bear my name, as will their mother. We will be married by special license at the end of the week.”
She raised her head and stared at him. “You can’t make me.”
“True. But I can drag you through the courts if you refuse…and believe me I will.”
“So my wishes don’t come into it?” She felt herself rallying as a rising anger gave her the strength to fight back.
“Why should they? You didn’t take my wishes into account when Ben and Lauren were born.”
“That was different and you know it,” she flared back at him, pulling herself as far away from him as she could on the sagging couch. “Children were the last thing you wanted on the tennis circuit. You were always going on about it. They came slightly below a wife if I remember correctly, and that was pretty well at the bottom of the list. If I’d stayed with you and had the children it wouldn’t have been long before they…we…started to cramp your style. Being a father would have ruined the image of the great Pierce Simon love machine.”
Their eyes caught and held, anger fizzing between them in great bursts of tension while Pierce assimilated the ferocity of her challenge. Then his eyes darkened. “We can discuss the past later. This is about what happens now. You can forget your childish accusations as well because the tennis circuit is two years behind me. I’m living in an apartment at Greenleas at the moment while I wait for my house to be completed. I also have a stable lifestyle and enough money to ensure Ben and Lauren are properly cared for if you want to cavort about town playing at a career instead of looking after them.”
“That’s not fair! You can see I have to work to keep a roof over their heads.”
“No I can’t. As far as I’m concerned you have never needed to work. There was always enough money to care for all three of you. It was entirely your decision to turn your back on it at a considerable cost to our children, and without giving me any choice along the way.”
He stood up and looked around the room as he finished speaking, his gaze taking in the shabby furniture, obviously second or even third hand, the threadbare carpet and the cheap curtains. Kerry knew it was all scrupulously clean. Her worn fingers bore plenty of evidence of late night housekeeping but despite that, and her attempts to brighten it up with cheerful cushions, it still looked poor; poor and bare, with few ornaments and only one picture, a snapshot of the twins at a few months old.
Pierce saw it and with a muttered exclamation he walked across to the mantelpiece and picked it up. The corners were curled and there was a fingerprint smudge where Ben had once seized it with sticky hands. He studied it for a long time and when he finally turned around he was still holding it, his eyes unreadable.
“Take it or leave it Kerry. Either marry me or fight me for the children in court.”
* * *
Kerry groaned as her alarm clock dragged her out of a fitful sleep. She had tossed and turned for most of the night, too inhibited by the fact that Pierce had taken over her couch to even get up to make a hot drink. Exhaustion had finally won out as the familiar street noises began outside the window and now, less than two hours later, it was time to get up. She put out an anxious hand and stopped the alarm before it could disturb Pierce. Then she pushed back the duvet and sat on the edge of the bed.
In blue cotton pajamas and with rumpled hair and her cheeks still flushed with sleep she looked like a child herself; far too young to be responsible for two-year-old twins; but inside she felt a hundred years old as she reflected on her future. Although Pierce had said little more the previous evening she knew he meant what he said. If she wanted to keep the twins and avoid the sort of heartbreak a court case might bring, then she had to marry him.
He had made it very plain that any reluctance on her part would drive him to instant legal action, and she knew she couldn’t compete. With his money and contacts he would win hands down. After all what court would give exclusive custody to an single mother who had quite deliberately hidden her children’s existence from their father, subjecting them to a life of near poverty when she knew he was capable of providing for their every need? Her reasons for leaving him would be dismissed as childish whims, and the fact that her own father had disowned her would also be seen as further evidence of her unsuitability to care for the children on her own. Worse, even though Pierce had left the tennis world behind him, his public profile would still win him the sympathy of all his fans while she would be publicly castigated as the woman who had deprived him of his right to be a father.
She had no choice. She had to marry him if she wanted Ben and Lauren. She rested her head in her hands as she contemplated the bleakness of such a loveless union. What did he expect to gain from marrying her? Why not just fight for the children anyway? She gave a dry sob.
“Kerry,” Pierce pushed open the bedroom door and walked across to where she was sitting. He was carrying a mug of coffee. He was barefoot and his chin was dark with stubble. He looked awful, as if he, too, had been lying awake all night contemplating a miserable future.
“What do you want?” She made a grab for her robe and pulled it around her shoulders as she stared at his bare chest and the golden hair that tapered to a V where his waist narrowed into unbelted slacks.
“I heard your alarm and thought this might help,” he held out the mug with an expression that had lost some of the previous night’s animosity. “Come on, drink it up, it’ll make you feel better.”
“Nothing will make me feel better except to be left in peace in my own home,” she ignored the mug as she concentrated on buttoning her robe right up to the neck.
“We’ve already discussed that, so you may as well reconcile yourself to the fact that I’m not letting you out of my sight until we’re married,” he was patient rather than irritated as he placed the mug of coffee on the corner of the bedside table.
“Not even if I promise to bring the children to see you every day?” She tried bribery without much hope of success.
“Not even then. Your track record on staying around isn’t good enough.” His wry smile acknowledged her ploy as he left the room.
She summoned up her few remaining dregs of courage and pulled a face at his retreating back. Then she reached for the coffee and drank it reluctantly, trying not to feel grateful as it eased her parched throat.
Chapter Four
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br /> It didn’t take Kerry long to shower and pull on a pair of faded denims and a warm sweater, but by the time she padded downstairs the breakfast was ready.
“I’m not entirely clueless so you can stop looking so dumbfounded,” Pierce said when he saw her surprise. He was fully dressed now and apart from needing a shave looked far too presentable, the weariness she had noticed earlier banished by cold water and strong coffee. A familiar surge of annoyance washed over her as she sat opposite him at the table. He had always been the same, had always been able to look fresh and ready for anything however hard he’d been living the night before. And from the glimpse of neatly folded blankets through the half open doorway, she saw he had even found the time to tidy up the couch as well.
He placed a plate of scrambled eggs in front of her with an attempt at humor. “You can forget the tennis circuit king now. This is the real Pierce Simon, egg-scrambler deluxe!”
She eyed her breakfast distastefully, refusing to respond with the smile he was looking for. “Aren’t I to be allowed any choices at all now? You know I don’t eat a cooked breakfast, or maybe you’ve forgotten that too just like you seem to have forgotten all the things you said in the past.”
“I told you we’re not going there, Kerry,” he warned as he poured her a fresh mug of coffee. “Besides that was when you weren’t all skin and bone with dark circles under your eyes. You don’t look as if you’ve fed yourself properly for months and as your future husband I intend to do something about it.”
“I thought Ben and Lauren were your only concern,” she pushed the egg moodily around her plate until he put out his hand and stopped her.
“You are their mother. I owe it to them to make sure you’re fit enough to look after them,” his voice was unexpectedly gentle as he trapped her cold fingers beneath his own, stopping her restless movements.